Anyway, I just had my one year anniversary. I know that’s not a long time, but i can already tell what the hardest part is. For me, the hardest part of being married is always having someone there to see you at your best, as well as at your worst. Even my parents never knew half the things I struggled with. My best friends knew only a little. But my wife knows everything that I struggle with. She is there when we are all “spiritual” and reading the Bible and praying together, but she is also there when I fall. When life gets me down and I turn my back on God. When the weight of the world is on my shoulders and I curse and scream and forsake the very God that saved my soul. I know she doesn’t judge me. I know she would never think poorly of me because of my constant hypocrisy. But knowing that another person has seen me at my lowest, that makes it so much harder to pick myself up and turn back to God. You see for me, its easy to hurt and lose myself and fall when it’s just me and God. Becasue I know that He will forgive me. I know I can turn back to Him. If I want to. If I feel like it. I dont have to make any commitments right away because there isn’t anybody else there. I know God is there, but we all know its easier to turn away from Him when no one else knows about it.
With my wife there, I have constant accountability. And not just with spiritual matters. We’ve all started a diet then fell off the wagon in like two days. That’s just sad. But when there’s someone else there to see you fall off the wagon, it feels pathetic. Or when you need to fix the leaky faucet but you put it off way longer than you should and it worsens, you’re not the only one that has to suffer the consequences of a flooded kitchen. The same goes with the constant battle that Christians face every day. In a Christian marriage, it’s best if there is a rotation of spiritual decline. For example, sometimes I will get very discouraged and want to give up on God and quit church. But fortunately, my wife is there to lift me up and encourage me to keep going. She gets me back on my feet. And sometimes she can get discouraged and want to forget about church and God, and I will have to lift her back up. (For the record, I’m usually the one that has to be encouraged by her). That’s what I mean by a rotation. Sometimes, though, a couple can overlap their rotation with each other. Sometimes you can both be down and discouraged. And that is a very dangerous place to be in. Instead of lifting each other up, you’ll pull each other down. And the farther down in the valley you go, the more difficult it is to climb back up to the mountain top. Those are the times you need to dig in deep. Those are the times when you need to completely step out on faith. Those are the times that you are tested to see how tough your relationship truly is. When you both get down in the valley, the only one that can bring you up is God. And yes sometimes your spouse can try to drag you back down because they are still discouraged. I’ve often been that spouse. But if you truly love them, you will fight on and keep trudging up that mountainside until you get to the inevitable blessings that God has waiting for you on the other side. God’s not going to forget about you down there. In fact, He’s just waiting for you to have enough faith to look up to Him instead of yourself or even your spouse.