OK time for a little rant. You know what perturbs me? When you see these young married couples out and about, but the husband is always a major jerk to his wife! I know I’m not the only person who notices this. For some reason, the guy feels the need to act all dominant and superior by being mean and degrading her. And I think I know why. You see, for some reason men throughout time have needed to feel better about themselves, so they try to accentuate how manly they are by putting down women. Now I’m not some feminist advocate by no means, but seriously guys we need to step it up with the way we treat our women. And if you’re a feminist, you might be upset by the way I just alluded to the idea of ownership of women. Well guess what, our wives are just that: ours. And not in the way of “I own you so do what I say”, I mean that in the way of “your mine and I will care for you and protect you by all means necessary.” Yes our wives belong to us and we belong to our wives. If you think you’re too manly to hold her hand or hold her purse in public, maybe you’re not ready to be married. If you’re too manly to go to the park and push her on the swings, you need to be alone for a while and reflect on why you feel so insecure. Let me open my own life and reveal what I mean. I love action movies. I love comedies like Step Brothers and Dumb and Dumber. I love shooting guns, collecting knives, and practicing with my recurve bow. I train in MMA and I’m in the army. But I found something out last night. I absolutey love the show Gilmore Girls. Yikes. Pretty girly I know. But I am now addicted to that show. More addicted than I am to Walking Dead or Daredevil (two shows I love). I’ll also eat ice cream right off the cone. In public. We own two dogs. Her dog is a German Shepherd/Doberman mix. Mine, brace yourself, is a Chihuahua/Weenie dog mix. But he’s feisty, so it’s ok. I say all these things to make a point, and that point is this: it’s OK to embrace your, uh, non-masculinity. To me, being truly masculine is being able to say “hey, I have likes and interests that society (especially here in the South) does not deem manly enough.” But I say forget society and forget their rules. A real man will forget about his need to be superior, and treat his wife like the princess she is. Does she nag you alot and complain? Try bending over backwards to make her happy. Every day. Every time you can. Sounds like alot of effort, right? Well isn’t she worth that effort? If not, then you shouldn’t have married her in the first place. Try surprising her sometimes. After work, stop by the store and buy her favorite cupcakes. Try watching a movie she likes even though she got to pick the last one. You’ll live! You’re the man here. You need to let things slide. If you get into an argument, and she is clearly wrong about it, don’t drive it into the ground. Let it slide. Forget about it. You won. It’s over. Be the bigger man. Literally. If you’re in public, don’t degrade her. Praise her and show her off. Be on her side. Every time. Always be in her corner. Come on guys, (especially young guys like me) we need to show the world that we can be the good old fashioned gentlemen who treat their women like queens without any hesitation.
As an eighteen year old son about to embark on my new life in college, I sit here reflecting on my life and I find myself more and more grateful for my parents. My father works all week and my mother keeps the house in great condition. We have a great relationship, but as I look around me, I find that my peers as well as the general public have quite a distorted view on what a family is supposed to be. For proof, merely turn on the television and watch a simple kid’s show. You will notice that in almost every program, the father is the one that is funniest, but not in the way that a father would like to be portrayed. In the show, the father is usually the stupid one that always messes things up, leaving the mother or the children to fix everything. This implies to the audience (usually children) that the father is an inadequate leader in the family and that the mother should supply the income and support. The mother and father should have an equal partnership in the marriage, but obviously they should have different roles. In a nutshell, the father is the leader, protector, and provider. The mother is the supporter, nurturer, and homemaker. When the father position is forfeited by the man, this adds unneeded pressure on the mother, causing resentment between them. As this tension builds between husband and wife, the children are forced to watch this escalate, which engrains in their mind that this is how a marriage works, therefore dooming them to repeat the process in their adult life, causing a chain reaction throughout the generations. This process can be eliminated by merely balancing the roles in the marriage and setting a good example for children to follow.
After developing a proper relationship between husband and wife, one must not fall into the trap of the classic “parent and children vs parent” situation. In some cases, the mother and children are pitted against the father, and others it is the father and children against the mother. In either case, it is usually because the father or mother want to be the “favorite” parent, especially if the other parent is a step-parent. This is easily resolved when the favored parent realizes that his/her primary role is not as best friend, but as the parent and disciplinarian. The husband and wife should be best friends with each other before they join sides with their children, because it is our human nature as children to take advantage of one parent and pit them against the other to sustain our own personal gain.
Personally, my parents have done quite well the past eight or so years, and I am very grateful for them. So as you look back on your past experiences, realize that it was your parents or parent figures that have molded you into the person you are. This does not mean that you will turn out just like your parents, but it does mean that your upbringing has had a major impact on the way your life is going. This being said, do NOT blame your parents for your life not turning out the way you would have preferred. Perhaps your father or mother left you at a young age or you experienced some other kind of traumatic situation; this does not give you or anyone else an excuse for mistakes in life. We are merely influenced by our past, but we are not defined by it.